I love these girls.
This was a crazy day. I realized, I am not good at this mothering thing. It felt quite similar to how I feel some days teaching: "Why did I choose this profession?" Luckily, I'm not a mother now, so there is still hope. :) I'm sure I will feel woefully inadequate then, too, and that's okay. I can try, and I can love. I'm learning patience...
These girls got real tired today; their nap schedule was a little off. And I was tired, too.
Still, there were sweet moments; for example:
Lauren's kisses. Basically, she attacked my face with her mouth. I was lying on the ground, unsuspecting, and she divebombed me--mouth open wide. I was initially confused, then I realized (I think) she was kissing me. Prior to this, the only kisses I've seen from her were to the picture of Jesus in her bedroom (which was another sweet moment). During her attack, I was so busy laughing that I didn't defend myself well. The consequence was my entire face was slimed. Mostly from kisses; also, I afraid, from her nose.
Rough (but sweet) bedtime: Prior to tonight, I was shocked at how good at going to bed these girls are. Maybe I even had thoughts of "this isn't so hard" ...famous last thoughts. Tonight, it set in that Mommy and Daddy are not here. I think it was the tiredness. Abbie cried for her parents, and I came in and told her stories in bed. I told her all about what Mom and Dad are doing on the cruise, and I felt...inadequate. As much as I love her, I'm not her mom; I'm not her Dad. it is sweet and good to see how much she loves and needs them. Lauren woke up and cried a while later; all she needed was a little walk and a little nestling in my shoulder.
(Or maybe that was all I needed.)
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